CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?  FOR JUST A FEW BONES YOU WILL.  CHECK OUT MY PRICES FOR SERVICE THAT'S GUARANTEED TO PLEASE...

Service

Price

NAPPY TIME

Hey now, no funny business!  But seriously, who wouldn't want to cuddle with such an adorable pooch?  For just a bone more, I'll even let ya rub my belly!

FLAVOR CONSULTING

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I'll eat anything - ANYTHING.  Got a new flavor dog food or treat and need an expert opinion?  How 'bout that recipe you're thinking about surprising the family with?  2 bones for tasting meat treats, 3 for veggies, and 4 for wood or plastic.

DRIVE-BY PEE-PEE

I'm the best shot in the business.  You name it: car tires, human legs, even cats.  At only 3 bones a shot, it's a steal!

PORCH POO

Forget flowers.  Nothing sends a message like a nice warm pile o' poo left on the doorstep of a friend or family member.  For very special occasions, and a bone more, I'll even light it for ya!

PEOPLE CHOMPS

Ankles are my specialty.  I can take down the toughest tough-guy when I sink my teeth into 'em.  And with my 4 foot vertical jump, there's no place worth biting that I can't reach!

VARMINT EXTERMINATION

More frightening than a scarecrow, more powerful than a can of RAID, I chase off bugs, birds, squirrels, opossums, raccoons, and even teenagers. 

WEDDING SINGER

I do more than just howl at the moon.  I can sing baby!  All the hit's of the 80's, the blues, the King, even a ballad or two.  Gimme 3 bones and an open bar and I'll make your special night complete.

STUD SERVICE

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* SUBMIT PICTURE OF LUCKY CANDIDATE FOR PRICING.